Dilemma

For the past 20 days I have been minding my p's and q's when it comes to this cleanse I have been doing. I am feeling good and even have noticed a change in how my clothes fit. This has been awesome because I wasn't really expecting to see a change in my weight with this cleanse. As I mentioned in a prior post even others noticed a change without me mentioning to them I was doing this.

Well, that high came crashing down last night when I watched the dvr'd segment of my on the news yesterday morning.

I've always had a pretty good self esteem about myself, but the last couple of years that has all been put to the test with this unexplained weight gain. The gain has worn me down and frustrated me. I don't feel as though I have control over my own body and at some points don't even recognize the person that stares back at me in the mirror.

I have even noticed that I shy away from having my picture taken because the person that shows up in the picture as me, is not the person that lives in my head. I once again came face to face with this reality as I saw myself on tv. The person, "me", that was standing there talking was not me. I was even embarrassed and almost didn't want to finish watching myself.

Don't get me wrong... I know I am a great person and I know things will change. I am just really frustrated with my current state. But, I feel like I am in the right path in getting help to jump start some weight change. Here's to hoping it all works. After the 8th I will be down with the cleanse and will post my weight progress.

For those of you who missed the tv segment. Here are some pics Jon took with his phone. Please keep in mind I am being brave in posting these, since I am obviously not happy with who I am in them.

Birds

I have an insane love of everything birds. Not only real living birds but also bird decor. The other day Pioneer Woman posted this china on her blog and needless to say, I am in love!

Busy Bee

The last little while I have been prepping for Craft Lake City. I have even put Jon to work asking for his assistance with painting. For my display I found some nice tables, but of course I had to make things difficult and insist that they be painted the colors I wanted.

I've been a mess the last few days trying to get everything accomplished that I want to. Here's a shot of my the current state of my craft room.

Part of my stress is due in part to the fact that I have to do a mock set up tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn for the Channel 2 News with Casey Scott. If you are up that early tune in and you might get to see a sneak peek of my both and maybe yours truely!

Mark your Calendars...

Two weeks to go!

I'll be there with a booth for my vinyl chalkboards and whiteboards.
Come check out the crafts!

How I roll..

In an attempt to make my blog more interesting I am going to start a blog label titled "How I roll..". For these posts I am going to let you all in, a little more, on my crazy life. I imagine it will be pictures of crazy randomness that is my daily life.

Are you all ready?

Random Thoughts

I've been kinda MIA again... I have been busy and haven't exactly been inspired to write on my blog. I used to think that I wanted a blog that people would flock to and read everyday. Then I realized my blog really isn't that interesting. It's just random tidbits of my thoughts, ramblings and other stuff I throw up here on the good 'ol internet. Anyway... I still don't have much to say. This weekend I will try and post pictures from a recent mini adventure.

Side note: I started my medical cleanse as recommended by the Integrative Medicine Center that I have been going to. I didn't exactly love that every doctor I previously went to wanted to give me some prescription to "fix" my problem - so I decided to try a more Eastern approach. It's a 28 day cleanse and I am on day 10. I already notice a difference and others have noticed too. Only downside, I get an occasional craving for a food I can't have. We'll see what a difference has been made at the end of day 28.

It's yours.. you keep it!

One of my pet peeves in life is cigarette butts. I HATE that people choose to smoke and then feel compelled that they do not need to keep the remnants from their cigarette in their car - but rather just flick it out the window. First off, last time I checked this was considered littering. If you choose to smoke it, then you should have to keep it in the car with you until you can properly dispose of it. Newsflash it's not like you and your car don't already smell from smoking the cigarette. Keeping it in your ashtrash until you can throw it away isn't going to make that big of a difference. However, it will make a difference in the environment. There won't be cigarette butts in the gutters, the edges of the freeway and more specifically in my yard.

I don't care what habits people have, unless those habits impact my life. Some days it takes everything I have... to not get out of my car and retrieve a cigarette butt, throw out of someone's car window, and throw it back in their car with them. Ps. sticking your hand out the window, like you are feeling the breeze, but instead slyly tossing your cigarette butt... isn't fooling anyone. If you have to go to those lengths you obviously know you shouldn't be doing it.

This rant was brought to you by: My Soapbox

Whiteboard Decals

This just in... there are **new** Whiteboard Vinyl Decals
listed in the Spell It Out Etsy shop.

Pizza with a side of life

Some of you may have heard that I have this talent. We like to call it "Old Man Knack". Basically it's the ability to make otherwise cranky, old men to become nice and pretty much fall in love with. In the endearing kind of way. Unfortunately, this ability sometimes presents itself in the oddest places and with people I wouldn't have imagined would be affected. This is a story about one of those times.

Last night I decided to order a pizza. I wasn't really feeling like cooking much. It had been a long afternoon in the sun, at the Draper Temple, for a friend's wedding, a late afternoon nap, and then making and packaging several orders for Spell It Out. I just wanted something easy - aka something I didn't have to make. Everything went as normal. I placed the order online and waited for the delivery person to show up.

When the pizza arrived I was greeted, by name, by the delivery guy. He asked how my evening was and I politely responded and returned the question. Little did I know that he was having a bad day... bad week... bad month... bad couple of years - and I was about to learn all about it. Situations such as this make me unsure. Obviously the guy needed someone to talk to, but was I really the right person? Also, I am standing at my front door holding a piping hot pizza, in my lounge clothes just wanting to plop on the couch and chill for the rest of the night. But, I stood in the doorway and listened to the delivery guy tell his story about his life, his marriage and his kids. He even showed me pictures of the kids he so dearly loves and was concerned about. I offered my candid opinion, when he asked for it. He seemed very confused about life and not quite sure what he should be doing. Granted I did feel odd about the situation.

1- I don't know this guy or his life. Who am I to offer up advice?
2 - He is about 1.5 times my age.
3 - Jon was not home at the time and could not rescue me.

For roughly 45 minutes I stood in the doorway listening and giving my opinion. The delivery guy talked about his frustrations with his marriage, potential divorce, his recent run ins with the law and possible physical abuse of his kids at the hands of a loved one. All of these things I don't necessarily feel a stranger should be privy to, unless they are some sort of professional in a related field. Basically all I could tell the guy is that he needs to do what will make him happy and what is in his heart. I am not sure how many times I rephrased that sentiment. Obviously, he needed someone to speak to. I even encouraged contacting a Dr. He told me he was already seeing someone. Either there was something about me that made him feel comfortable in talking, or just likes to tell all of his customers about his personal life.

Jon later arrived home to find me still in the doorway talking with the delivery guy. It seemed to be perfect timing. I felt the conversation wasn't going to end. I also felt guilty in just shooing the guy away after he poured out his story, but it was very awkward to be the person who chose to spill it all to. I was uncomfortable about it all. Jon saved me.

Once Jon arrived the stream of stories stopped. The delivery guy focused on Jon and told him how wonderful of a person I was to listen to him. During the conversation I had kept mentioning that my boyfriend was on his way home, hoping that would wrap things up. I did finally wrap things up but not until Jon got there.

I worry about the delivery guy and hope he finds what he needs in his life. I am also concerned that there might be a knock on my door one day and it's him randomly stopping by to talk. I don't want to be short/rude to people... but, honestly, I was a little bothered that all of that was dumped on me by a stranger.

Am I wrong?