For the past 20 days I have been minding my p's and q's when it comes to this cleanse I have been doing. I am feeling good and even have noticed a change in how my clothes fit. This has been awesome because I wasn't really expecting to see a change in my weight with this cleanse. As I mentioned in a prior post even others noticed a change without me mentioning to them I was doing this.
Well, that high came crashing down last night when I watched the dvr'd segment of my on the news yesterday morning.
I've always had a pretty good self esteem about myself, but the last couple of years that has all been put to the test with this unexplained weight gain. The gain has worn me down and frustrated me. I don't feel as though I have control over my own body and at some points don't even recognize the person that stares back at me in the mirror.
I have even noticed that I shy away from having my picture taken because the person that shows up in the picture as me, is not the person that lives in my head. I once again came face to face with this reality as I saw myself on tv. The person, "me", that was standing there talking was not me. I was even embarrassed and almost didn't want to finish watching myself.
Don't get me wrong... I know I am a great person and I know things will change. I am just really frustrated with my current state. But, I feel like I am in the right path in getting help to jump start some weight change. Here's to hoping it all works. After the 8th I will be down with the cleanse and will post my weight progress.
For those of you who missed the tv segment. Here are some pics Jon took with his phone. Please keep in mind I am being brave in posting these, since I am obviously not happy with who I am in them.
Well, that high came crashing down last night when I watched the dvr'd segment of my on the news yesterday morning.
I've always had a pretty good self esteem about myself, but the last couple of years that has all been put to the test with this unexplained weight gain. The gain has worn me down and frustrated me. I don't feel as though I have control over my own body and at some points don't even recognize the person that stares back at me in the mirror.
I have even noticed that I shy away from having my picture taken because the person that shows up in the picture as me, is not the person that lives in my head. I once again came face to face with this reality as I saw myself on tv. The person, "me", that was standing there talking was not me. I was even embarrassed and almost didn't want to finish watching myself.
Don't get me wrong... I know I am a great person and I know things will change. I am just really frustrated with my current state. But, I feel like I am in the right path in getting help to jump start some weight change. Here's to hoping it all works. After the 8th I will be down with the cleanse and will post my weight progress.
For those of you who missed the tv segment. Here are some pics Jon took with his phone. Please keep in mind I am being brave in posting these, since I am obviously not happy with who I am in them.
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7 comments:
I can relate...I saw a video of the backside of me having a relay with my kids last week, and it made me so sad. I, too, believe that I still have the same body I had at 18 -- not my mother's identical twin!
But, for whatever it's worth, you look darling in the pictures. The real question is, how did it go?
The tv spot went really well. There were about 6 or 7 of us there and we showed the awesome stuff that will be available. I am just hoping for good sales at the event.
Aw, Bekah...I understand how you feel. Though I do think you may be being a bit too hard on yourself. You are such a beautiful woman! Inside and out! I have always admired your sense of style and how classy you look all the time. You just glow, sweetie!
Weight is a frustrating issue, one that I have struggled with myself for many years...especially with my health issues. I think I may have finally come to terms with the fact that I can only do what I can do, and that I need to work on a lot of self acceptance. Still, it's hard sometimes when I have a special event or something where I will be facing a lot of people or having my picture taken and I have to squeeze into something that used to fit. Ugh. :)
But just know that you are loved for you no matter what! And that I, for one, think you look beautiful all the time!
Thank you Niki!
Bekah - don't get too down on yourself, I think you are lovely! And your other friends are right, you always look so put together!
We are going to try to come up this weekend. I want one of your fancy whiteboards!
I think you are definitely going about this the right way, with a cleanse. My sister used to be a colon therapist and gave people colonics. She and my mom swear by cleanses and colonics. Not only for weight loss, but for health! Cause that is the most important part! Good luck with the rest of your cleanse. I can't say that I've ever done one, I don't know that I have the will power, but I would like to attempt one someday! :)
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